Silent All These Years

Dear Reader,

Beauty is a fragile thing. More so because it is held in the perspective and the indulgence of tired eyes and preconceived ideas that colour our world blind. Lines and form meld in patterns of grace that lend a frame upon which it hangs, within which it stands. Time passes and light changes, wind erodes and we all chase the grains of sand that fly before us, just out of reach.

Love is pretty much like that too.

Flying ahead we chase it, we yearn for it, we are mesmerised by it. 

I have chased the idea of love for longer than I care to think about. Objects of my unwanted affections have come and gone yet that yearning, that burning desire to be in a that most wondrous things – a relationship – has rarely been absent. And the longer I drift without someone the more tired and despairing I become.

Our capacity for self deception is immense. So much so that though we might know this, though we understand it, we always forget it.

We will yearn again, we will jump after the carrot again, and we will again trip along the path of disappointment only to lie in bed and berate ourselves. Berate ourselves of what fools we are to forget that hope plays the role that allows us to deny the facts of reality.

Where are the instructions for living? What help is there for those poor souls who become crippled by yearning, who hurt in places they never existed, as they stand invisible to the stream of humanity which passes by, dancing to a music we can only sometimes hear a snippet of.

If life is simple, why do we fail? If nature knows best, why do we rely so much on timetables and cheat sheets? We are often too quick to apportion blame. 

We find easy targets.

We make sweeping statements based on wild generalizations, because we feel more comfortable when we say we understand; that is how the world works.

But they terrifying truth is that we don’t know how the world works.

Has fate really laid out our paths, invisible before us?

Don’t seek convenient comfort my friend, avoid quick and easy assurance of assumption. be brave enough to ask questions which cannot be easily answered. And be brave enough to walk the path alone though it kills you inside.


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